Wendy Withers , who is also pretty much my only regular reader and the only person who actually leaves comments here, had some nice things to say about me in her blog(now award-winning).She deals with a large variety of topics, loves zombies and is a genuine writer.
If you're lurking through here trying to find something to read with more depth and better sentence structure, then check out her blog.
Speaking of zombies, if you ever find yourself in the midst of a zombie apocalypse the people at this blog have found some survival tips.You never know.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Something Trippy...
I don't remember where I got the link, but this is cool.This is one of those things where every time you watch it you see something you missed the last time around.There is another one here , but it is a lot shorter.I actually use the one from the second link as my screen saver sometimes.
I always love finding these odd little flashes of creativity.The ones that are interactive are even better.I'm not talking games, but diversions.
I always love finding these odd little flashes of creativity.The ones that are interactive are even better.I'm not talking games, but diversions.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Looking Like This:Hair Tales
I am not a person obsessed with my appearance.I make sure that I am clean(clean feels better) and that I look like I bathe regularly.I'm not really concerned with my clothing.I'm a jeans and T-shirt person for life.I buy the cheapest sneakers I can stomach buying.(My current pair was $15.I will wear them until they need to be held together with duct tape.)
This isn't too say I don't have my peculiarities.I have made some very bold fashion choices in my physical appearance.For one thing, I have 16 tattoos.When I fist started getting thm, I wanted to keep them all in places where I could hide them.Then I got one on my forearm and suddenly it was open season.Some people are curious and might ask a question or two, but I've never gotten any grief over them.I think they're getting more and more common and accepted, so people aren't as shocked as they might have been in the past.
I also have a long goatee, maybe about 6 inches long.I shave only about once a month, and sometimes even less frequent.Once more, I rarely get any grief for this.My job is such that I don't need to be clean shaven.At worst people want to tug on my beard.It's a good prop for wrestling for that very reason.
The thing I get the most comments about, and hard times about, is my hair.I started growing my hair long when I was a freshman in high school.My mother was okay with it, but would never let it get too long.Her idea of long hair must've been an inch long, 80's mullet.I had other ideas and, by the time I was a junior, had won.I could grow it as long as I wanted as long as I kept it clean.I took that ball and ran with it and still won't give it back.
I have cut it short twice in the past:once because I got a bad haircut and the other time was to get a job.Both times I tried to work with the short hair and find a style I liked because short hair IS easier to take care of.It just never worked.It just ends up long.It grows in thick too.I'm not close to balding yet.(crosses fingers.C'mon genetics.)I'm also a redhead(real hair color).That means that not only is it long and there's a lot of it, but it stands out like a signal beacon.There's no mistaking me when you see me.
I love having it.It's just more...fun.It allows for a couple of different style options.Seeing other people's reactions to it over the past twenty years has been an experience in the best and worst that people have to offer.There is a whole set of prejudices and stereotypes that come with being a guy with long hair, none of them flattering.
My first experience came right about when I was a junior in H.S.My family was living in a condominium complex.That means your neighbors were right on top of you and privacy sometimes wasn't possible.One day I was cleaning out the inside of my mother's car.It was a sunny day, I had the radio out with me and was just cleaning and enjoying the tunes.
When I finished my job and came back in my mother pulled me aside.She told me that one member of a family from a condo next to ours, a lady senior, came to the door to warn my mother that there was a suspicious-looking man near her car.Looking back, I'm just thinking"How did she not know that I lived there?Our front doors were only 15 feet apart."But still, she saw me and instantly had me judged as "criminal", or "undesirable".
It has been a recurring pattern all my life.There are people who feel uncomfortable talking to me because of it.It has occasionally made me an uncomfortable spectacle.Almost every time that I've ever been to see stand-up comedy, I've been the guy that the comic picks out of the audience to tease.(Caroline Rhea once called me Jesus!Really.It was before Sabrina and Rosie.)I've been turned down for countless jobs because of it, often with a boldness and frankness that would not be tolerated if their issue involved race or gender.Some might ask why I just don't cut my hair and blend in.Guys SHOULD have short hair, you know.No one forces me to look like this.Peace is only a scissor snip or two away.The answer is simple:I don't want to.Dealing with the bullshit is a small price to pay for being happy with at least one aspect of your physical appearance.I have awesome hair.So fuck you all. I'm keeping it.
Hearing this little rant, you might think that it might be an obsession of my life.That maybe I walk around all day like"Yeah.Look at my hair.Pay attention dammit!!!"I'm not though.It's as unnewsworthy and familiar to me as my own face.It's just something I happen to have.People always will make jokes and I'll get the requisite haircut cracks and offers.But they get used to it.It gets old, kinda like the Superman jokes that Clark Kent endures in Superman:Identity.
These opinions that I wrote about above are always in my head though, even if they rarely are spoken of.I think that anybody who experiences discrimination because of their appearance, no matter how insignificant it may seem in relation to another person's experience with discrimination,retains it and has an encyclopedia's worth of counter attacks and defenses just waiting to be unleashed at anyone who gives them shit. I never really thought about what other guys with long hair go through.I'm too self-absorbed to care.Looking through the internet(That thing again)and I found just some of that:guys with long hair shouting their concerns.Some are more radical than others.I think this guy pretty much nails it.
Some things, like "get a haircut" being considered a slur I had never thought of.If I look back at many of the incidents that he brings up and count the number of times they happened to me, then it would seem that people have been pretty rotten to me.I can't seem to get mad about it though.It's interesting to read about.I can relate to the stories.But it doesn't make me seethe.I'm old enough and have heard it all.The comments just roll right off my back now.I don't blame anybody for the position I'm in, or not in.(But I do have my eye on you, Mr."The Man."You are never to be trusted under any circumstances.)But sometimes, it just feels good to rant.
This isn't too say I don't have my peculiarities.I have made some very bold fashion choices in my physical appearance.For one thing, I have 16 tattoos.When I fist started getting thm, I wanted to keep them all in places where I could hide them.Then I got one on my forearm and suddenly it was open season.Some people are curious and might ask a question or two, but I've never gotten any grief over them.I think they're getting more and more common and accepted, so people aren't as shocked as they might have been in the past.
I also have a long goatee, maybe about 6 inches long.I shave only about once a month, and sometimes even less frequent.Once more, I rarely get any grief for this.My job is such that I don't need to be clean shaven.At worst people want to tug on my beard.It's a good prop for wrestling for that very reason.
The thing I get the most comments about, and hard times about, is my hair.I started growing my hair long when I was a freshman in high school.My mother was okay with it, but would never let it get too long.Her idea of long hair must've been an inch long, 80's mullet.I had other ideas and, by the time I was a junior, had won.I could grow it as long as I wanted as long as I kept it clean.I took that ball and ran with it and still won't give it back.
I have cut it short twice in the past:once because I got a bad haircut and the other time was to get a job.Both times I tried to work with the short hair and find a style I liked because short hair IS easier to take care of.It just never worked.It just ends up long.It grows in thick too.I'm not close to balding yet.(crosses fingers.C'mon genetics.)I'm also a redhead(real hair color).That means that not only is it long and there's a lot of it, but it stands out like a signal beacon.There's no mistaking me when you see me.
I love having it.It's just more...fun.It allows for a couple of different style options.Seeing other people's reactions to it over the past twenty years has been an experience in the best and worst that people have to offer.There is a whole set of prejudices and stereotypes that come with being a guy with long hair, none of them flattering.
My first experience came right about when I was a junior in H.S.My family was living in a condominium complex.That means your neighbors were right on top of you and privacy sometimes wasn't possible.One day I was cleaning out the inside of my mother's car.It was a sunny day, I had the radio out with me and was just cleaning and enjoying the tunes.
When I finished my job and came back in my mother pulled me aside.She told me that one member of a family from a condo next to ours, a lady senior, came to the door to warn my mother that there was a suspicious-looking man near her car.Looking back, I'm just thinking"How did she not know that I lived there?Our front doors were only 15 feet apart."But still, she saw me and instantly had me judged as "criminal", or "undesirable".
It has been a recurring pattern all my life.There are people who feel uncomfortable talking to me because of it.It has occasionally made me an uncomfortable spectacle.Almost every time that I've ever been to see stand-up comedy, I've been the guy that the comic picks out of the audience to tease.(Caroline Rhea once called me Jesus!Really.It was before Sabrina and Rosie.)I've been turned down for countless jobs because of it, often with a boldness and frankness that would not be tolerated if their issue involved race or gender.Some might ask why I just don't cut my hair and blend in.Guys SHOULD have short hair, you know.No one forces me to look like this.Peace is only a scissor snip or two away.The answer is simple:I don't want to.Dealing with the bullshit is a small price to pay for being happy with at least one aspect of your physical appearance.I have awesome hair.So fuck you all. I'm keeping it.
Hearing this little rant, you might think that it might be an obsession of my life.That maybe I walk around all day like"Yeah.Look at my hair.Pay attention dammit!!!"I'm not though.It's as unnewsworthy and familiar to me as my own face.It's just something I happen to have.People always will make jokes and I'll get the requisite haircut cracks and offers.But they get used to it.It gets old, kinda like the Superman jokes that Clark Kent endures in Superman:Identity.
These opinions that I wrote about above are always in my head though, even if they rarely are spoken of.I think that anybody who experiences discrimination because of their appearance, no matter how insignificant it may seem in relation to another person's experience with discrimination,retains it and has an encyclopedia's worth of counter attacks and defenses just waiting to be unleashed at anyone who gives them shit. I never really thought about what other guys with long hair go through.I'm too self-absorbed to care.Looking through the internet(That thing again)and I found just some of that:guys with long hair shouting their concerns.Some are more radical than others.I think this guy pretty much nails it.
Some things, like "get a haircut" being considered a slur I had never thought of.If I look back at many of the incidents that he brings up and count the number of times they happened to me, then it would seem that people have been pretty rotten to me.I can't seem to get mad about it though.It's interesting to read about.I can relate to the stories.But it doesn't make me seethe.I'm old enough and have heard it all.The comments just roll right off my back now.I don't blame anybody for the position I'm in, or not in.(But I do have my eye on you, Mr."The Man."You are never to be trusted under any circumstances.)But sometimes, it just feels good to rant.
Dumbest Post Ever-Who Would Win In A Fight?
The rules of "Who would win in a fight?" are simple.
1)Anything goes, including any powers that the characters would have.
2)Anybody or anything, fictional or real is eligible.
3)There is no such thing as too silly a matchup.
4)I haven't figured out how to determine who wins yet.That's not really a rule.I'm just saying...
The inaugural fight is between two underappreciated advertising icons.
IN THE RED CORNER:
WEAKNESSES: Leaves do not make good armor.
Prone to shaming tactics regarding costume.
Lack of experience in the spotlight.Doubtful anyone even cares about him.
MY TAKE:I've seen this guy listed as being the "fig leaf guy" and also as the "leaves and currants" guy.Either one is equally stupid.Couldn't they have used an orange or a banana?(Sometimes when I type banana I have to restrain myself from typing too many "na"s.Otherwise I'd be writing banananana.And that's just stupid.)I'm sure someone got fired over that one.Come on.Fig leaves?Does anyone even eat figs except in Newton form?They need to stop trying to be different and edgy and give people a fourth fruit they can recognize.
On a similar topic, why are there 2 grape guys?It's like the guy who came up with this was told to come up with four fruit mascots and was like"Apple.Grapes.Uhhhh...More Grapes.Uhhh....Crap.Four?Really?I don't know.Leaves?Is that a fruit?"I could do better than that.
WHO WINS?:Hell if I know.I'd pick the fig leaf guy because Grimace is pretty much useless unless he's eating or sucking up to Ronald.And how is he going to do any damage with those short little arms?I doubt he could reach to squeeze his nipples if he had any.Grimace's only hope is to fall on fig leaf guy or eat him.I just don't see another way.
1)Anything goes, including any powers that the characters would have.
2)Anybody or anything, fictional or real is eligible.
3)There is no such thing as too silly a matchup.
4)I haven't figured out how to determine who wins yet.That's not really a rule.I'm just saying...
The inaugural fight is between two underappreciated advertising icons.
IN THE RED CORNER:
NAME:Grimace
STRENGTHS:Size Advantage
Unusual body shape and stubby limbs make grappling impossible
No external genitalia to be exploited
WEAKNESSES:Unusual body shape and stubby limbs make grappling or punching or kicking impossible
Soft and doughy.Probably can't take a punch for shit.
Appaling lack of cardiovascular conditioning
MY TAKE: No one is exactly sure what Grimace is."The Milkshake Guy" is not a proper answer.Is there a female version of Grimace?How do Grimaces have sex?Grimace also has no visible anus.He obviously eats.How does he poop?Why is he always naked?Even when around children?I think Grimace is fucked up in the head and probably angry about being backed up because he has no waste orifices.His opponent is in for a world of hurt.Speaking of which...
IN THE BLUE CORNER:
NAME:The Fruit Of The Loom Fig Leaf Guy
STRENGTHS:Mobility.The leaf costume is the least bulky and restrictive of all of the FOTL guys.
Righteous anger over having to wear the crappiest FOTL costume.
Heart and determination:wants to show that he can be as big as the Apple.WEAKNESSES: Leaves do not make good armor.
Prone to shaming tactics regarding costume.
Lack of experience in the spotlight.Doubtful anyone even cares about him.
MY TAKE:I've seen this guy listed as being the "fig leaf guy" and also as the "leaves and currants" guy.Either one is equally stupid.Couldn't they have used an orange or a banana?(Sometimes when I type banana I have to restrain myself from typing too many "na"s.Otherwise I'd be writing banananana.And that's just stupid.)I'm sure someone got fired over that one.Come on.Fig leaves?Does anyone even eat figs except in Newton form?They need to stop trying to be different and edgy and give people a fourth fruit they can recognize.
On a similar topic, why are there 2 grape guys?It's like the guy who came up with this was told to come up with four fruit mascots and was like"Apple.Grapes.Uhhhh...More Grapes.Uhhh....Crap.Four?Really?I don't know.Leaves?Is that a fruit?"I could do better than that.
WHO WINS?:Hell if I know.I'd pick the fig leaf guy because Grimace is pretty much useless unless he's eating or sucking up to Ronald.And how is he going to do any damage with those short little arms?I doubt he could reach to squeeze his nipples if he had any.Grimace's only hope is to fall on fig leaf guy or eat him.I just don't see another way.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Superman:Identity-A New Favorite
(A note-The internet is full of comic reviews and blogs.Most are filled to the brim with negative bullshit.I'm not going to waste anyone's time with books I don't like.When people are looking for new stuff to read, what's the point of hearing about the shit?You want to know what the good stuff is.I will take up the challenge of bring good stuff to people's attention.Starting now.)
Earlier this year, I started reading DC comics, despite being a "Marvel Zombie."One thing I didn't expect to happen was becoming a Superman fan.My interest was solidified after reading Superman For All Seasons.I was looking for more Superman GN/TPBs to read and kept hearing about this book called Superman:Identity. The problem was, every time I picked it up I always ran across the page where a 20-something Superman, still thin enough to look a little awkward in his costume, was flying around.My first thought then was always "I don't want to read about some bony Superman."So I always put it down.
About 2 weeks ago, I broke down and picked it up.I think I've read it seven times since then.For those who don't know, Identity is the story of a guy, whose name just happens to be Clark Kent, who lives in what I suppose is our world.Superman exists, but as a comic book character.Young Clark is constantly assaulted with Superman jokes, Superman comics, and all manner of Superman memorobilia.And he hates it.His closet is full of unwanted Superman crap and his name makes him an outcast at school, even amongst the nerds.
One night, while hiking in the woods, he wakes up to find himself floating in the air.He realizes that he now has Superman's powers and is immediately wondering if he should shout from the mountaintops or keep it hush-hush.The story continues through all stages of his life, all the way until he is an old, gray man.
The whole story is told from Clark's point of view, mostly through journal entries that he types up on an old typewriter.I don't know how Busiek did it, but I felt every single thing that Clark felt.I felt every tragedy and triumph.When Lois announces she is pregnant I was there, joyfully bouncing around the ocean like a caffeine-addled dolphin.I felt the disappointment when he discovered that his powers were fading with age.At a few points I found myself with a lump in my throat.If I am having an emotional reaction to a story, then there must be something good going on there.
Stuart Immomen takes every art duty here, taking pencils and color.The color is done painting-style(very professional term there) which lends a much more realistic feel than is normal for him.The realism helps draw you in here.If the art was more traditional this would still be a good story and worthwhile purchase, but would most likely lack the emotional resonance.
I can't recommend this book enough.It will brighten your day and make you believe that a Superman could exist.Even if you don't like Superman- read this book.If you don't like comics-read this anyway.I wouldn't steer you wrong.
At least not this time.
Earlier this year, I started reading DC comics, despite being a "Marvel Zombie."One thing I didn't expect to happen was becoming a Superman fan.My interest was solidified after reading Superman For All Seasons.I was looking for more Superman GN/TPBs to read and kept hearing about this book called Superman:Identity. The problem was, every time I picked it up I always ran across the page where a 20-something Superman, still thin enough to look a little awkward in his costume, was flying around.My first thought then was always "I don't want to read about some bony Superman."So I always put it down.
About 2 weeks ago, I broke down and picked it up.I think I've read it seven times since then.For those who don't know, Identity is the story of a guy, whose name just happens to be Clark Kent, who lives in what I suppose is our world.Superman exists, but as a comic book character.Young Clark is constantly assaulted with Superman jokes, Superman comics, and all manner of Superman memorobilia.And he hates it.His closet is full of unwanted Superman crap and his name makes him an outcast at school, even amongst the nerds.
One night, while hiking in the woods, he wakes up to find himself floating in the air.He realizes that he now has Superman's powers and is immediately wondering if he should shout from the mountaintops or keep it hush-hush.The story continues through all stages of his life, all the way until he is an old, gray man.
The whole story is told from Clark's point of view, mostly through journal entries that he types up on an old typewriter.I don't know how Busiek did it, but I felt every single thing that Clark felt.I felt every tragedy and triumph.When Lois announces she is pregnant I was there, joyfully bouncing around the ocean like a caffeine-addled dolphin.I felt the disappointment when he discovered that his powers were fading with age.At a few points I found myself with a lump in my throat.If I am having an emotional reaction to a story, then there must be something good going on there.
Stuart Immomen takes every art duty here, taking pencils and color.The color is done painting-style(very professional term there) which lends a much more realistic feel than is normal for him.The realism helps draw you in here.If the art was more traditional this would still be a good story and worthwhile purchase, but would most likely lack the emotional resonance.
I can't recommend this book enough.It will brighten your day and make you believe that a Superman could exist.Even if you don't like Superman- read this book.If you don't like comics-read this anyway.I wouldn't steer you wrong.
At least not this time.
Monday, December 17, 2007
I HATE WINTERTIME
It took me 40 minutes to get out of my parking space this morning.I needed to use a shovel, a hammer, 1/2 a bag of rock salt, about 5 pounds of kitty litter,a cardboard box, and a whole lot of rocking back and forth to escape.Fucking ice.Fucking winter.Fucking New Jersey.AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!
And it's not even Xmas yet.I can't imagine living any further north.I turn on the Weather Channel and see these places where it starts snowing in early September or something and they're always getting like 2 or 3 feet of snow per storm and I know that if I lived there I'd have gone crazy years ago.
On the plus side, my tires aren't completely bald after spinning them all morning and the ice only broke one of my windshield wipers.(on the driver's side!Of course...)I'm sure tommorrow will be just as much fun.
And it's not even Xmas yet.I can't imagine living any further north.I turn on the Weather Channel and see these places where it starts snowing in early September or something and they're always getting like 2 or 3 feet of snow per storm and I know that if I lived there I'd have gone crazy years ago.
On the plus side, my tires aren't completely bald after spinning them all morning and the ice only broke one of my windshield wipers.(on the driver's side!Of course...)I'm sure tommorrow will be just as much fun.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Oh Boy
On my last post, I talked a little bit about some of the more unusual keyword searches people used to find this blog.A She-Hulk fan site linked that because I mentioned that someone searched for me using the phrase "Jennifer Walters Boob Grow".He did it as a goof just to push me further up the search engine list for anyone typing in that phrase. I think it's pretty funny.
The funnier thing is that since linking me 3 days ago,248 people(as of now) have clicked on that post.The number of times people have come here from google searches looking for that exact phrase went from the initial one, to five now.
So, for anyone coming here looking for pictures of She-Hulk, don't say I never gave you anything:
This is my favorite She-Hulk picture, that I've seen so far.She looks pretty badass. There are no growing boobs, but if your taste in porn is that specific I'm sure there's an internet site somewhere out there that is perfect for you.
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