Awards?I Don't Need Any Stinkin' Awards!

This weekend, the indy wrestling group I work for is having their annual awards/Hall Of Fame dinner.The dinner is in it's third year.This is also the third year that I plan on not attending.So now you're saying "Who cares?If you're not going why bring it up?"To that, I have two things to say:

1)It's my blog.I choose the topics.

2)This year is different.

I actually thought about going this year.I've been trying to be a little more social.I even decided to go to my job's holiday party next week after swearing to myself all year that I wouldn't go.I figure if I show my face at a social event it might cause less people to be afraid of me.Everywhere I've ever gone, there have been people who have been afraid to speak to me.From what I've gathered, it usually has something to do with the fact that I'm so quiet.People who have admitted this to me have told me that they thought that if they spoke to me that I'd ignore them or be angry with them.Sigh...I'm quiet.I'm shy.I'm awkward around new people, and even around people I know sometimes.I'm the last person anyone needs to be afraid of.If you ever meet me and want to talk to me, then just do it.I'll do the best I can to hold a conversation.If I fidget or get silent, it's because I'm drawing a blank regarding what to say next.That's all.I'm not trying to ditch you or express any dissatisfaction over having to talk to you.Quiet, shy, awkward.Remember those three things if you ever get to talk to me.But back to my topic...

So I was considering going to the awards dinner, even if I was leaning heavily towards not going.At least I considered it, right?That's more thought than I put into it before.Then I went to practice last week.The trainer/promoter told me that I was the top vote-getter for "manager of the year" as of that moment.That was what made my mind up for me.Truth be told, I don't want any awards.I got into wrestling for my own satisfaction.My reward has always been the fact that I got to participate and see how everything is put together.Chasing awards is petty and vain, or at least for me it is.

If I really do win this, I would have had to get up and make an acceptance speech in front of everybody in attendance(as opposed to making it in the bathroom to noone but myself and a mirror).I plan on forfeiting the award if I win it.A forfeit speech probably would not go over too well, you know?"Thanks, but no thanks.I think this award is silly and unneccessary."It would be honest but a little harsh.And I won't play along and pretend to be happy.That would be out-and-out lying.

Of course the possibility exists that the voting changed things over the course of the week and I won't win.That would make this whole post completely worthless.I'd rather that happen.Let someone who appreciates it win the award.I can live with having a self-important moment over nothing here.

Help For Those Looking For Info On Fire Pro Wrestling

I noticed that a lot of people come to my site looking for information about Fire Pro Wrestling.'m guessing that's because I did a post on the game a month or so back.My blog will not help you at all.I am not going to be posting templates, FAQs or any other guides.Sorry.That's more work than I'm willing to put in.

For the best info, please go to The Fire Pro Wrestling Club .They have all of the info on all of the games, even the older ones.If you are new to the game, I recommend reading some of the FAQs and guides first.The members get pretty snippy having to answer questions that are clearly explained elsewhere on the site.They also have large downloadable edit packs.You need some extra hardware to make the transfer from your computer to your PS2 though.If you don't want to take the time to make all of the extra guys then these are a life saver.You can also go to gamefaqs.com for the same info.

If you are a wrestling fan and can deal with the 2D graphics, then you need to play Fire Pro Wrestling.It is the most customizable and realistic wrestling game on the market.The customization options here put the WWE games to shame.I've slowly been creating customs for the indy fed I work for.Without tweaking the AI, it typically takes me about 1/2 hour to make a custom.With tweaking the AI, it could take days, depending on how exact I'm trying to be.The good thing is that even without the customs, the game has over 300 wrestlers and martial artists to choose from.

I also spend a lot of time on Match Maker mode, where you get to put together a dream card and get evaluated based on crowd response.(Hint:No one likes a countout and 8-man elimination tag matches almost always get good rankings.)

And Now This Crap Too...

So, let's see...my morning kind of sucked.(See previous post)As upset as that post may have made me seem, it is nothing I won't get over.Now that funky mood I was in has thrown me into one of my "I'm here but my mind is way the fuck over there",fidgety, no attention span-having kind of moods.

I can't sit still.I can't focus on one coherent thought for more than a few seconds at a time.I've used this comparison before, but it's like turning your TV's volume to full and flipping channels for a few hours straight.Picture that with the TV's audio being in your head and the screen inches from your unblinking eyes so you can see nothing else.Add to that a layer of financial worry and another layer of guilt over allowing my cat to get mites and fleas as well as her being very sick.And I still have 3 more hours of work to go.When I get like this, I need a "project" to steady myself.The type of project I need does not exist at work.All I can do here is pace, bounce around at my desk, and hope for things to pick up soon.

I need a project that puts my hands and mind to work.My Nextwave#5 coloring project would be awesome right about now.Artistic endeavors always work best at these times.Hence, I will blog.Lucky you...

I do have the mp3 player I got for Xmas.I've been bringing that to work every day.At least I can focus on some good tunes.Music always makes me feel better.Unless it's something Chris Cornell wrote.Don't get me wrong,I love Chris Cornell.He is one of my top 5 favorite singers, but godfuckingdamnit some of his songs depress me.

Let's see what's playing.Slayer?Nah.Mercyful Fate?Not in the mood.GNR?No.Celtic Frost?Jeez...Gotta keep flipping....Aaaahha!Ministry's "Warp City".Perfect.Good stuff.

Gotta work now.

Poor, Sick Kitty/ Poor, Empty Wallet

Last night, my fiance noticed that our youngest cat(the one that is in my blogger avatar), who is only 8 months old, was acting strangely and was sluggish.We were concerned, but decided to wait the night to see if she was just tired and cranky.

This morning, she was the same so I took her to the vet.She had a temperature of 104.7.That made me feel bad.Then they said she had ear mites, which made me feel even worse.Then they told me she had fleas.At this point, I felt like a horrible, negligent owner.Cats get sick, so that was just unfortunate.But when the other things were brought up I just wanted to die.

How much does a sick kitten cost?$587.That's for 4 different medicines, blood work, the office visit, etc.It cost us the start of our honeymoon stash.The remainder went on the credit card that I have been busting my ass to pay off.If she isn't feeling better by tommorrow morning, then I have to take her back for more work, which means more $$$.

She's our pet though.She's part fo the family.You can't just NOT treat a sick animal.It's cruel.I'd do anything to make sure my animals are well.Still, I'm upset at the cost.Eliminating my credit card debt is very important to me.I fucked up by overspending when I was younger and now I'm trying to fix it.I manged to pay off over $3000 of my debt last year.Now it's going to be that much harder.Every penny spent costs me more money in interest and...I'm sure you know how credit cards work.

So I feel just terrible today.I feel horrible that our kitten had mites AND fleas AND was sick.The cost just makes me feel like I'll never pay my debts.Two steps forward, one step backwards.It feels hopeless.If you have credit cards: DON"T USE THEM UNLESS YOU ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NEED TO.My debt is a little less than half as big as it was this time last year, but I still loathe the fact that half of a work week each month has to go to those cocksuckers at Mastercard.

I guess it could be worse.At least I was able to pay the bill.