Yesterday, while looking through some message boards on Newsarama, I came across a thread about the strangest or oddest things people had seen.One person mentioned a video called "2 Girls 1 Cup".Apparently, this video is so horrific that there's a whole crop of videos on YouTube that just show people's reactions as they watch it.I was curious and googled it.(To see it you'll have to do the same thing.I AM NOT GOING TO LINK IT.)The description didn't give me much hope, but I watched it anyway.
Have you ever played the game where you say "For a million dollars would you..."and then you name an act you would never ever do under normal circumstances and see if the other person would do it for the money?Imagine if someone actually took you up on one of those scenarios, your most scatological one, and then took it even farther than you ever thought they would.Watching this video is like seeing the most heinous version of the joke "The Aristocrats" acted out in real life.
I can't even describe it.I didn't get sick or throw up, but if you have a weak constitution, don't watch.Don't watch this if you are eating, about to eat, or have just eaten.Don't watch this at work.The first two or three seconds will make you think that this is porn.This is not porn.I don't want to know if you have sexual thoughts when you watch it.
This is the video that would make baby Jesus cry.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Marvel Makes An Effort
Marvel Comics' recent efforts to promote their product through a subscriber-based online service has actually been getting some attention from the mainstream press.This attention, not to mention the service itself, can only be a good thing for comic book fans.
To say that comics are a niche hobby is a grand understatement.The best selling books are lucky to sell 200k copies.The 32-page monthly books can mainly only be found in specialty shops, which can be intimidating to visit for those new to the hobby.Bookstores carry trade paperbacks, graphic novels, and manga, but often without much of a selection and nearly always without an informed person to make recommendations for new fans or children.Putting the books on the internet, even without the ability to download, adds one very-accessible entry point for anyone interested.
This service could also potentially help with the other really big comic pitfall:the aging core readers.Comics have the unfortunate disctinction of being thought of as a "kids' hobby", in spite of the fact that an overwhelming majority of their readers are in their twenties and older.The problem is that many people read comics as a kid and eventually outgrow or move past them to other, more "mature", pasttimes.What is left are longtime readers and people who came back into the hobby after taking a bit of a break(I'm one of these.),both of whom are apparently unknown to the genral public.When these readers go, who will be left?Putting comics on the internet will allow kids more exposure to them, in a more comfortable environment(home), where parents are better able to monitor their kids and what they read.
This brings about the biggest obstacle an initative like this will face:non-comic reading parents. They are the ones who will ultimately pay for the service for their children.$4.99 or $9.99 per month for thousands of comics is certainly a better value for cost-conscious parents than $2.99 for a single issue.That makes one year's subscription($4.99 times 12 months)the same price as ONE X-box360 video game, three DVDs, and also less than a typical monthly cable bill.Perhaps they will also read a few issues themselves and won't be as hesitant to buy a monthly the next time.I would bet that a lot of parents or people who used to read comics twenty years ago would be surprised at how much things have changed regarding both the art and the writing.There is something there for fans of any genre of fiction. A good comic can be every bit as gripping as the best movie or book.
I really hope this takes and new fans come in.It probably won't be the savior of the industry, but it is a step in the right direction.I'd hate to see my favorite hobby die in ten years because the fan base got too old and drifted away.
To say that comics are a niche hobby is a grand understatement.The best selling books are lucky to sell 200k copies.The 32-page monthly books can mainly only be found in specialty shops, which can be intimidating to visit for those new to the hobby.Bookstores carry trade paperbacks, graphic novels, and manga, but often without much of a selection and nearly always without an informed person to make recommendations for new fans or children.Putting the books on the internet, even without the ability to download, adds one very-accessible entry point for anyone interested.
This service could also potentially help with the other really big comic pitfall:the aging core readers.Comics have the unfortunate disctinction of being thought of as a "kids' hobby", in spite of the fact that an overwhelming majority of their readers are in their twenties and older.The problem is that many people read comics as a kid and eventually outgrow or move past them to other, more "mature", pasttimes.What is left are longtime readers and people who came back into the hobby after taking a bit of a break(I'm one of these.),both of whom are apparently unknown to the genral public.When these readers go, who will be left?Putting comics on the internet will allow kids more exposure to them, in a more comfortable environment(home), where parents are better able to monitor their kids and what they read.
This brings about the biggest obstacle an initative like this will face:non-comic reading parents. They are the ones who will ultimately pay for the service for their children.$4.99 or $9.99 per month for thousands of comics is certainly a better value for cost-conscious parents than $2.99 for a single issue.That makes one year's subscription($4.99 times 12 months)the same price as ONE X-box360 video game, three DVDs, and also less than a typical monthly cable bill.Perhaps they will also read a few issues themselves and won't be as hesitant to buy a monthly the next time.I would bet that a lot of parents or people who used to read comics twenty years ago would be surprised at how much things have changed regarding both the art and the writing.There is something there for fans of any genre of fiction. A good comic can be every bit as gripping as the best movie or book.
I really hope this takes and new fans come in.It probably won't be the savior of the industry, but it is a step in the right direction.I'd hate to see my favorite hobby die in ten years because the fan base got too old and drifted away.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Oh no!Not The Holidays Again!
It's that time of year.The holidays are coming.Isn't it funny how stores seem to put their Xmas crap on display earlier and earlier?We can't even get through Halloween without fucking Santa hats and fake snow.I figure that maybe online sales are hurting brick-and-mortar stores so much that they are just trying to promote a Xmas-level shopping frenzy earlier and earlier to make up for it.An extra month of Santa Claus.An extra month of ear-stabbingly horrible Xmas carols.An extra month of trees and reindeer.Ugh.
In case it isn't glaringly obvious, I am not a fan of the holidays.I don't even want to celebrate my own birthday, why would I give half a fuck about Xmas?I don't, but the people around me do.Therefore, I reluctantly participate out of consideration.I don't want presents.If I want something, I'll buy it for myself. If I can't afford it then I can wait.I certainly don't want someone else spending it if I think it's too much.No one else needs to get involved in my very American consumer duty.You don't buy me anything.I don't buy you anything.It seems fair to me.All I want out of my holiday is the day off from work.And if I get extra pay for working a holiday even that is negotiable.
"But this is the one time of year when everyone is just a little nicer to each other.It's holiday spirit."Why can't we just be that polite all year round?Do you really need an excuse not to be an asshole?Holiday spirit is overrated.Eggnog is disgusting.That's why they only sell it once per year.Nobody would drink that shit on a daily basis.Xmas carols are the absolute WORST kind of music in all of human history.Another song about Santa and snow with chimes and bells in it?Make it stop. Please, make it stop.I wonder what group/singer will sell their soul this year and release a Xmas album?It should be Bruce Springsteen since his music all sounds like shitty Xmas music anyway.And I'm an athiest, so the religious aspect only merits an eye roll and a head shake from me.
My least favorite part of the holiday season is the "holiday party."I'm not a fan of parties.I avoid all larger-than-two-other-people social gatherings as a rule.I don't look at it as a free meal or a chance to interact with people outside of work.I look at it as being trapped in an environment that I have little control over.When you add a holiday theme that I dislike anyway, it just makes my desire to go shrink even more.If I did go, this would be my schedule:
4:30PM-I arrive at the holiday party.
4:35PM-After saying hello to a few people, I get on line for food.
4:45PM-I have my food and find the most remote, out-of-the-way corner of the building to eat my dinner.
4:55PM-I'm nearly finished with my plate.I realize that I could sneak out the door and no one would notice.
5:00PM-I leave through a side door without a word to anyone.
It's a waste of my time.I always feel a little bad about saying no, just because I don't want anyone to think that my decision is a reflection of my opinion of them.I have two this year to avoid, one for my job and another for my wrestling fed.The wrestling one I've blown off for the past two years since it started, so this year shouldn't come as too much of a shock to anyone.This is the first year I've worked in the building I work in now so I guess I'll have to see how persistant people are here.Last year, when I was in Central Jersey, no one so much as blinked when I didn't show up.I was also a technician and didn't know that many people in the building.All I can do is stay quiet and hope nobody brings it up.The only thing worse than being trapped at a party is having to give the same explanation about why you aren't going to twenty different people.I hate repeating myself like that.
Please let it be over quickly this year.
In case it isn't glaringly obvious, I am not a fan of the holidays.I don't even want to celebrate my own birthday, why would I give half a fuck about Xmas?I don't, but the people around me do.Therefore, I reluctantly participate out of consideration.I don't want presents.If I want something, I'll buy it for myself. If I can't afford it then I can wait.I certainly don't want someone else spending it if I think it's too much.No one else needs to get involved in my very American consumer duty.You don't buy me anything.I don't buy you anything.It seems fair to me.All I want out of my holiday is the day off from work.And if I get extra pay for working a holiday even that is negotiable.
"But this is the one time of year when everyone is just a little nicer to each other.It's holiday spirit."Why can't we just be that polite all year round?Do you really need an excuse not to be an asshole?Holiday spirit is overrated.Eggnog is disgusting.That's why they only sell it once per year.Nobody would drink that shit on a daily basis.Xmas carols are the absolute WORST kind of music in all of human history.Another song about Santa and snow with chimes and bells in it?Make it stop. Please, make it stop.I wonder what group/singer will sell their soul this year and release a Xmas album?It should be Bruce Springsteen since his music all sounds like shitty Xmas music anyway.And I'm an athiest, so the religious aspect only merits an eye roll and a head shake from me.
My least favorite part of the holiday season is the "holiday party."I'm not a fan of parties.I avoid all larger-than-two-other-people social gatherings as a rule.I don't look at it as a free meal or a chance to interact with people outside of work.I look at it as being trapped in an environment that I have little control over.When you add a holiday theme that I dislike anyway, it just makes my desire to go shrink even more.If I did go, this would be my schedule:
4:30PM-I arrive at the holiday party.
4:35PM-After saying hello to a few people, I get on line for food.
4:45PM-I have my food and find the most remote, out-of-the-way corner of the building to eat my dinner.
4:55PM-I'm nearly finished with my plate.I realize that I could sneak out the door and no one would notice.
5:00PM-I leave through a side door without a word to anyone.
It's a waste of my time.I always feel a little bad about saying no, just because I don't want anyone to think that my decision is a reflection of my opinion of them.I have two this year to avoid, one for my job and another for my wrestling fed.The wrestling one I've blown off for the past two years since it started, so this year shouldn't come as too much of a shock to anyone.This is the first year I've worked in the building I work in now so I guess I'll have to see how persistant people are here.Last year, when I was in Central Jersey, no one so much as blinked when I didn't show up.I was also a technician and didn't know that many people in the building.All I can do is stay quiet and hope nobody brings it up.The only thing worse than being trapped at a party is having to give the same explanation about why you aren't going to twenty different people.I hate repeating myself like that.
Please let it be over quickly this year.
Pointless Cat Photo/Nothing Better To Do
Once more, I'm stuck as to what to write, so here's a cute picture just for the sake of making a blog post.The one on the left is the oldest cat, a male.We don't really name our pets because the names never stick.They always end up as "Hey you" or "Kitty."The one on the right is the kitten, who gets bigger every day.This picture makes it look like she is making him smell her farts and he's covering up in self-defense. Or they could be sleeping.Whatever works for you.
The back of our couch is the most desired cat sleeping spot in the house.It never lacks at least one cat.They're all there as I type this.See?
OK.That's enough cat for one day.
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