It's that time of year.The holidays are coming.Isn't it funny how stores seem to put their Xmas crap on display earlier and earlier?We can't even get through Halloween without fucking Santa hats and fake snow.I figure that maybe online sales are hurting brick-and-mortar stores so much that they are just trying to promote a Xmas-level shopping frenzy earlier and earlier to make up for it.An extra month of Santa Claus.An extra month of ear-stabbingly horrible Xmas carols.An extra month of trees and reindeer.Ugh.
In case it isn't glaringly obvious, I am not a fan of the holidays.I don't even want to celebrate my own birthday, why would I give half a fuck about Xmas?I don't, but the people around me do.Therefore, I reluctantly participate out of consideration.I don't want presents.If I want something, I'll buy it for myself. If I can't afford it then I can wait.I certainly don't want someone else spending it if I think it's too much.No one else needs to get involved in my very American consumer duty.You don't buy me anything.I don't buy you anything.It seems fair to me.All I want out of my holiday is the day off from work.And if I get extra pay for working a holiday even that is negotiable.
"But this is the one time of year when everyone is just a little nicer to each other.It's holiday spirit."Why can't we just be that polite all year round?Do you really need an excuse not to be an asshole?Holiday spirit is overrated.Eggnog is disgusting.That's why they only sell it once per year.Nobody would drink that shit on a daily basis.Xmas carols are the absolute WORST kind of music in all of human history.Another song about Santa and snow with chimes and bells in it?Make it stop. Please, make it stop.I wonder what group/singer will sell their soul this year and release a Xmas album?It should be Bruce Springsteen since his music all sounds like shitty Xmas music anyway.And I'm an athiest, so the religious aspect only merits an eye roll and a head shake from me.
My least favorite part of the holiday season is the "holiday party."I'm not a fan of parties.I avoid all larger-than-two-other-people social gatherings as a rule.I don't look at it as a free meal or a chance to interact with people outside of work.I look at it as being trapped in an environment that I have little control over.When you add a holiday theme that I dislike anyway, it just makes my desire to go shrink even more.If I did go, this would be my schedule:
4:30PM-I arrive at the holiday party.
4:35PM-After saying hello to a few people, I get on line for food.
4:45PM-I have my food and find the most remote, out-of-the-way corner of the building to eat my dinner.
4:55PM-I'm nearly finished with my plate.I realize that I could sneak out the door and no one would notice.
5:00PM-I leave through a side door without a word to anyone.
It's a waste of my time.I always feel a little bad about saying no, just because I don't want anyone to think that my decision is a reflection of my opinion of them.I have two this year to avoid, one for my job and another for my wrestling fed.The wrestling one I've blown off for the past two years since it started, so this year shouldn't come as too much of a shock to anyone.This is the first year I've worked in the building I work in now so I guess I'll have to see how persistant people are here.Last year, when I was in Central Jersey, no one so much as blinked when I didn't show up.I was also a technician and didn't know that many people in the building.All I can do is stay quiet and hope nobody brings it up.The only thing worse than being trapped at a party is having to give the same explanation about why you aren't going to twenty different people.I hate repeating myself like that.
Please let it be over quickly this year.
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2 comments:
I think the stores cater to people who want to celebrate Christmas all year round. Like my mom, who has had her tree up since the middle of October and doesn't plan to take it down this year.
I'm with you on the parties; I can be in large groups of people when I'm mostly ignored, like when I'm dancing at the local goth club. When people want to talk to me, I have problems.
I'm a total basket case at parties.My only goal at a party is getting home.I'm OK with people talking to me, but in small groups.Anything more than a person or two overloads something in my brain and I panic.
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